All Alone No Place to Go - I think I'll Head to Mexico

I tell others that I am not afraid of anything, but at the same time, I realize I am not a risk taker.  I was reminded of this today as I went for a swim in the ocean.  It was a beautiful overcast day.  Calm southwesterly breezes flow gently across the ocean and greet me with a kiss of salt air.  I am standing on the shore, half naked and gently walk until I am knee deep, then plunge myself down into submersion.  I lose my balance and the swells playfully toss body around like an old rag doll.  I submit to the power of the ocean as part of my aparigraha ….. letting go.   Suddenly I notice an older group of three, two women and a man heading into the water.  They are moving at a brisk pace toward the end of the shallow shelf into deeper waters to swim.  I ask myself, as a child, I used to body surf, swim and loved getting into deep water.  What’s holding me back from doing this again.  Where did I lose this child’s adventurous spirit...